People-pleasing and why we do it

When you’re a people-pleaser, when is the right time to say no? When your own blood is laying at your front door, and the very ones that cut you are stepping over your body seeking additional blood – is that the right time?


When you can’t even pick your head off the sidewalk, and all they want to know is what time will you be at their house, hospital, event, or party – even as you lay drowning in a puddle of your own spit – is that the right time?

When your body no longer supports you because it’s drained of any self-sustaining energy – so now you have complications and diseases with names you can’t even pronounce – is that the right time?




When many around you consistently talk about their problems, and when you attempt to talk about yours, they swiftly turn the conversation back to theirs – is that the right time?


I would say that this is not a problem with people-pleasing. It's a "Me" problem. Somewhere down the line, I simply never learned to consider and please Me. It was easier to give me away. Because when I’m so preoccupied giving me away, I never have to focus on fixing me. Never have to focus on getting me right.


So, I no longer blame them; I blame Me. And I no longer even blame me, instead I choose to love me, care for me, feel me, enjoy me, and satisfy me. ‘Cause it’s been about me the entire time. I was simply on a soldier’s

journey of self-discovery headed straight to me, and I didn’t even know it.


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© Lively View | African & African American Culture.

debbie@livelyview.com
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