If you’re an African-American woman, it may seem like everywhere you go, you see a Black man booed-up with a white woman. And while many of us may roll our eyes or turn our heads, frankly, there’s nothing we can do about it because as the old adage goes, “You love who you love.” While at the same time we're in our girl groups continuing to have the same old conversation that starts with, “Where are all the good Black men?”
Well, I got the facts: let’s break it down.
There are 21.5 million Black men in America, compared to 23.5 Black women. So, Black women are born at a dating/marrying disadvantage. If every Black man marries a Black man that still leaves 2 million Black women who will never have their own man. Ouch. That hurts.
And because of all the Beckys with the good hair, we know that not every Black man in America is taking a Black woman to the altar. Statistics show that a Black man is twice as likely as a Black woman to marry outside his race. (As to why they do it, I ain’t got a clue. Well, actually I do, but that’s another post.) In the U.S., there are about 400,000 African-American men married to white Women, while another 160,000 of them are hooked-up with Hispanic women. And while, it may not seem like it, but the sistah’s have looked over the fence a time or two themselves. About 172,000 African-American women have said “I Do” to white men, and 82,000 black women have mixed margaritas with a Hispanic husband, according to the website BlackDemocraphics.com.
Ok, y'all don’t hate me for this, but I said I was coming with the facts. Here are some other things for Black women to consider as to why we’re having a difficult time finding a good Black man. We all know this information in theory, yet numbers have a way of bringing the real deal clearly into perspective. Here we go: about 575,000 Black men are gay. This ain’t a critique, it’s just the facts ma'am, and about 800,000 Black men are in prison. Now that is a critique, because this number is higher than the number of Black men in college (600,000). Shame.
Now that we’ve gone over the numbers, let’s posit an unexamined relationship theory for Black women to consider. Here it is: Black women love them some black men. Don’t we? We have since the beginning of time. Black men are just our natural choice. If there were a button to select a Black man, the average Black woman would hit it every time. We’d be like hitting that red “Staples” button. Well, there just might be a way for us to continue hitting that button. Consider this – African-American women and African-born men. I said it, yes I did – African men. Here’s why: there were 4.2 million Black immigrants living in the U.S. in 2016, up from 816,000 in 1980, according to a Pew Research Center analysis of census data. I told y’all I was coming with the facts. You can bet that more than half of that 4.2 million are men – Black men. That means over 2.1 million Black men added back to the dating pool. That’s pretty significant.
Now, I know when thinking about dating an African-born man, there are some cultural concerns such as language barriers, wives back home, the hunt for U.S. citizenship, and down right “broke-ness” (finances) as many of them travel to the U.S. in search of better economic conditions. And, they can be a handful. No joke. But all brothers can be a handful. And since the beginning of time, black women have been about the business of “picking-up” and “dusting-off” men. Haven’t we? What’s the difference?
I’m just saying the numbers don’t lie and are worth consideration. If we can just turn down our pinky fingers and give African-blood a try, we might be able to narrow down some of this startling relationship data. Think about it, Africans are hardworking, wonderfulllll lovers, and are all about a woman being a woman. Just contemplate the thought. Now, how you find a good one is another post. Stay tuned.
Please share this story with every sistah you know.